So I was driving back home from school on the freeway expecting a smooth ride. But instead I'm stuck behind you. Are you kidding me slow drivers in the left hand lane? 55 mph. Really? You're like a kidney stone when I'm trying to pee. I know you aren't a sixteen year old student driver anymore, I can see your handicap tag hanging from your mirror as I angrily stare at the back of your 1995 Volkswagen Passat. (Maybe it's time for an upgrade.) But I assume that over the last fifty years or so you would have perhaps noticed that slower traffic goes into the right or middle lane. This isn't some new rule like not looking at internet porn on work computers. Just move over. It's not that hard. You would think the flurry of cars whizzing past you would have been a sign. "Just go around me. I'm not hurting anyone" you say? But the fact of the matter is you are disrupting my drive, and that slow driver in the left hand lane hurts. Besides if I felt like passing someone on the right I'll go for a jog on the indoor track and run past the fat people doing their weekly half-mile. (Sure the half mile helps. But not eating a box of Thin Mints in a single sitting might help too. I know they're good. But a whole box?) And what about when you're driving slow in your white Crown Victoria? In case you haven't noticed, your car perfectly resembles a police cruiser. I see the back of your car and slow down. No, it's not funny. I'm going to drive around your block playing the ice cream man song, so every time you run outside and get disappointed you know how I feel. So thank you slow driver in the left hand lane, you and the constant need to pee every time I just passed an exit, ruined my drive home.
1 comment:
apparently someone got stuck behind any ohio driver. yea i said it. any, i repeat, any, ohio driver. worst drivers ever. almost as bad as old asian ladies.
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