Are you kidding American Airlines?

I had to fly out of that little slice of hell better known as Laguardia early Saturday morning. I went out the night before so I wasn't in the best of moods when I woke up at 6:30am to grab a cab. I should have known that it was going to be one of those days when the cab driver turned to me and asked for cash to pay the toll at the tunnel. I asked if he had the EZ Pass (little box in the car that charges you automatically) and if he could just throw it on there I would pay him back at the end when I used my credit card to pay for the rest of the toll. Well you would have thought I asked him if it was alright to take a crap in the back seat by the way he responded no, so reluctantly I gave him the 5 bucks. (It wasn't the new five. How stupid do those look? Someone at the Treasury Department really screwed the pooch on that one. Poor Abe Lincoln.) Anyways, after I went through security, I checked at the gate to make sure the 9 am flight was on time. The representative sweetly responded the plane was running about 20 minutes late. 20 minutes isn't bad for Laguardia, so I considered myself lucky. Until that same representative went to the ticket podium. She looked like she was getting ready to take tickets for boarding, but American Airlines had other plans. She got on the loud speaker and said in her sweetest voice that the flight had been canceled due to low visibility. Are you kidding American Airlines? When I get up to go to the bathroom at night I have low visibility but I somehow manage to hit the bowl. (Most of the time. Sometimes the tiles get a little. Who knew tiles were into that sort of thing? Kinky.) And that's without a copilot or computer assistance. The fog must have really cleared up by 9:30 because the Delta flight left for Columbus on time. Also, if the plane was running 20 minutes late wouldn't that mean that it was en route when I originally asked about the flight? Maybe the show Lost really could happen between the Midwest and the East Coast. Or maybe that spawn of Satan you employed to stand behind the counter lied to me. Don't worry there is a silver lining to the story. I talked one of your nicer employees into giving me a meal ticket worth $10. (And in all seriousness I really did appreciate it. But that doesn't make for a funny story.) But if you allocate that over the 6 extra hours I was imprisoned at the airport it works out to $1.67 an hour. Now I know what the kids in sweat shops feel like and I didn't even have to make any shoes. Thanks for the life lesson American Airlines. But can you do me a favor? Instead of teaching me invaluable lessons or giving me experiences that I will look back one day and laugh at, how about you just get your flights off on time.