Are you kidding broken subway card holder?

I know I have been gone for a while. But if you hadn't realized blogging about things that piss me off in New York City isn't my day job. Plus, I havn't been here for most of the month so that's my excuse. Sorry. (Actually I'm not. But after acouple of you have reached out to me for a new post I figure appologizing would make you feel better about yourself. Because really, what else have you got going for you?)

There are very few good surprises that happen when living in New York City. Don't get me wrong, there are surprises. Like when you turn the corner and a homeless person starts peeing on your shoe. Or when you go out to lunch and a make your own salad costs $15. Or when you sign the $2500 per month lease for a 450 sq. ft. apartment that anywhere else in the country would cost $500. All unexpected, yet I would hardly classify them as good. But there still are some good suprises that come out of living in the city. And one of the best one is when I am walking down the stairs to the subway station and the train is just pulling up. When I see that blur of silver rush by and I know that I'm not going to have to wait, I have such a good feeling that I think nothing can upset me. I forget about my absurd rent, my fortune costing lunch that had made me gassy, and even my bum-pee soaked sneaker because at that moment I really know what the Starland Vocal Band was singing about in their song "Afternoon Delight"; getting to the subway station as the train's arriving. But all this jubilation comes crashing to a hault because as I go to the one open turnstile onto the platform I get stuck behind you. Are you kidding broken subway card holder? I know this isn't your first time using your broken card because the thing looks more worn out then R. Kelly's old Disney Channel VHS tapes. And there's a pretty good chance that if the machine didn't read the 5th swipe, the 15th isn't going to register either. I say something under my breath loud enough for you to hear. I breath heavy so that you know I am angrily waiting. But you still keep on going at it like a fat kid and a bucket of KFC. And the most frustrating part about it is that you are a successful business(wo)man. (Or at least you dress like one.) You can raise revenue, and create financial forecasts but when it comes to sliding a piece of plastic through a card reader to get on the subway, it looks like you should be riding in the short car. So thank you broken subway card holder, you killed the joy in my subway riding experience. Murderer.