Are you kidding Spoiled Attractive Lady on the Bus?

This is another guest post. I should be able to write one for tomorrow. As you saw from Monday's post I have been traveling and haven't been able to post as frequently this week. Don't cry about it. Enjoy this one.

Let’s face it, women are spoiled...especially the attractive ones. Attractive women can get pretty much whatever they want, and they know it. When I see a good looking woman coming into a store after me I wait there to hold the door open in the rain with no umbrella. When there is an attractive woman waiting on my table I tip more than I should. When an attractive woman is talking to me at the bar and I know that it is only because she wants me to buy her a drink I buy her that drink. And when there is an attractive woman on the corner of the street asking me if I have 5 minutes for the children I always say “Of course I do, the children are our future” even though the starving children of Djibouti are not in the top 10,000 of things that worry me when I wake up in the morning. There are some instances, however, that simply cross the line. One of these line crossing events happened to me this morning. As I was sitting on the bus with my iPod doing my morning crossword puzzle, I notice a very attractive woman somewhere between the ages of 27-35 standing in front of me, looking at me, and moving her lips. I took my iPod off and asked if she was talking to me, to which she replies “Can I sit here?” I looked around noticing there were no seats available on the bus, but also watched her walk onto the bus without a limp and she was obviously not pregnant given the fact that her surgically enhanced funbags were daring me to see if they made a noise when squeezed. When I finally realized that she did not want to sit on my lap and talk about the first thing that popped up, I replied that I was sorry but I was busy doing the crossword and needed to sit to do that. Are you kidding spoiled attractive lady on the bus? I wake up earlier every morning because experience has taught me that if you get to the bus stop before 7:40 am you can get a seat on the bus, thus enabling me to do my crossword puzzle. Get to the bus stop after 7:40 and the rush hour crowd forces you to stand for your commute with all the peons and blue collar people. I have 2 female bosses that I report to. I have seen my company’s performance goals and know that part of my bonus hinges on a certain percentage of employees in my department being female and “persons of color”. Aside from the obvious questioning of whether or not “persons of color” is an appropriate term after the Civil Rights Movement, I feel like I have given enough of myself to attractive women over the years and this was one battle that I simply refused to lose. I immediately got quite angry and had to calm myself by thinking what another great American would do…and I am pretty sure that I made a choice that would make Al Bundy proud. Al would never let Peg sit in his seat on the couch, even if she promised never to bring Marcy D’Arcy over to the house again. Al would never get up off his seat on the couch even if Kelly was having her friends over for the Hawaiian Tropic Video Shoot and needed to sit on that very couch. I am pretty sure Al Bundy would feel the exact same way I or any other rational American that is not a spoiled attractive woman would feel: If a woman can be my boss, take half my assets for doing nothing more than simply fulfilling my manly needs, and run for the President on the United States, then she can damn sure stand her ass up on the bus.