Are you kidding delivery man with no pen?

When I'm hungry, I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to call anyone. I don't want to read anyone my order and listen to them breath heavy into the phone and repeat everything I say in an accent I can't understand as it takes 5 minutes to write down the order. I just want my food as quickly as possible. Luckily, with the advent of the internet there is a solution to this problem. www.seamlessweb.com All I have to do is click a couple of times, enter my credit card information, and in 15-30 minutes my food is at my door. It's like room service for my apartment. Quick. Convenient. Just sign the receipt and get my food. No problems, one would think. But there is a problem. (You have to know by now that if there were no problems I probably wouldn't be writing about this.) The problem is when you want me to sign the receipt, but you don't bring a pen. Are you kidding delivery man with no pen? When I open my door and see you with my bag of food, I'm already salivating from the mix of anticipation and hunger. The only thing standing between me and a delicious meal is my Herby Hancock on the receipt you're holding. But you don't have a pen allowing me to sign. Why would you leave the restaurant with out a pen? That would be like a baseball player stepping up to the plate with no bat. I bet if you got hit in the back with a 90 mile per hour fast ball you'd never forget again. But therein lies the problem; there are no consequences for the lack of attention to detail that you put into your job. I already tipped you online because (being the good person that I am) I figured with a nice tip you'd get to my apartment more quickly. But you shatter my goodwill and hope with your lack of writing utensil. The next time you show up to my door without a pen, I should spray you in the face with water like a dog learning not to pee on the carpet. But then you might get mad delivery man with no pen, and then I'd probably not get my food which makes me worse than when I started. So I'll search through the junk drawer in the kitchen, find a pen, and angrily sign the receipt. But know that every time you show up to my door without a pen, a puppy dies. And that makes you delivery man with no pen a puppy killer.