Are you kidding A-Rod?

Being a professional athlete has to be awesome. Not only do they get paid millions of dollars to play a game, they almost instantly become famous. The city that they play for falls in love with said athlete and pretty much anything they want is theirs; Nice apartments. Really good concert tickets. I bet they even get free refills at restaurants that don't give free refills. So it's not surprising when they act like they can do/get anything they want; even when that thing is a 50 year old single-named married pop star with a fake British accent. Wait, that doesn't sound right at all. Are you kidding A-Rod? You could probably have any girl in New York City and you settle for the material girl? I could understand if this was 1988 and you were into that sort of thing. But 20 years later? Maybe you just got finished watching A League of Their Own. You play baseball. The movie was about baseball. You must have tried Gina Davis but she showed no interest (even though you insisted you've seen all 19 episodes of Commander in Chief) so Madonna must have been the next best thing. Maybe you're into kabalah or women who adopt babies from random African countries. But if that's the case shouldn't you have gone after Angelina Jolie. Sure she's pregnant and quasi married to Brad Pitt, but you're the highest paid player in professional baseball. That has to count for something. Or maybe you just wanted the attention. Because let's be honest, what athlete doesn't? Take O.J. Simpson for example. He not only touched the lives of millions on and off the football field in the mid-ninties, he still grabbing headlines today. And I know you didn't kill your wife (and technically neither did OJ), but the next time you want to grab the headlines, maybe you should do something a little more exciting than Madonna. Like a Canadian hooker!