Are you kidding elevator door opener?

I thought the person who rode the elevator to the third floor was the worst person to ride with. Lazy. Selfish. How could it get worse? But you, elevator door opener proved me wrong. When I step into that small box that transports me from floor 1 to 25, I want to get out of there as quickly as possible. Sure, some elevators have TV in them, but after riding a couple of times the stories rerun. (Plus they are written for really slow readers. Is 3 lines about how Anne Hathaway's ex-boyfriend stole money from Vatican investors really supposed to last me 30 floors?) So as the elevator doors are just about closed and I see your body extremity pop into view and pry the doors open, you can imagine my frustration. Are you kidding elevator door opener? Are you really in that big of a hurry that you can't wait the 30 seconds for the next one of 6 elevators to arrive? Do you have an appointment that you can't be late to? Sure, going to the doctor on time is important. But whether you find out you have herpes at 9:05:00 or 9:05:30 really isn't going to make that big of difference. Look at the big picture elevator door opener. (Yes. Everyone who pries open the elevator door clearly has questionable morals, and therefore makes bad decisions, sexual and/or otherwise. So it's safe to assume that they have *insert favorite STD here*) And the worst part is, when you pry open the door you not only let yourself in, you let in all the other people waiting as well. I get shoved to the back of the elevator and now my ride is uncomfortable because of you. Does it matter that I am on floor 25 and the elevator starts service on floor 24? Does it matter that when you walk in you say sorry and I pretend not to hear you and stare at the TV reading the same story for the 5th time? Does it matter that the regular TV season was cut short this year? No. None of these things matter to you. (I know that the last one is totally unrelated, but like your elevator etiquette both are complete bullshit.) So please elevator door opener, the next time you see the doors closing do what Carl Winslow would do when he saw Steve. Just pretend like it's not there.